FEDERAL CIRCUIT
  COURT OF APPEALS


what color is

I miss you crayon?

(it is all the colors) 

I am living

off  four berry

mixed preserves

Italian bread

no seeds

this blanket

smells like my granny

soap smells

like clean vagina skin

3 years ago

handsoap is

soft hands

rinse a bowl

I learn

to cook

something organic

Mac ‘n Cheese

plates

knock

in the sink

rats sneaking

those noises

I hear

all morning

Braxton stomping

upstairs

what color is his skin?

(purple south

Philly structure fire)

walking like a puppet

on rainy afternoons

Wednesday

wet nickels

I pause

Julia says

nobody stops

loving the puppy

(we took the puppy back

)

you’re a puppy

and you’re a human

and you’re a bad idea

trying

so hard

to beat yourself

up about it

stop

writing now

Julia says

I don’t

never

never

I’m not sure if

you or I

exist

anymore

but there’s a piece

in here

I won’t release

talk to a phone

sex operator

20 minutes

made her do

all the voices

Puerto Rican

Russian Oligarch

Federal Circuit

Court of Appeals

Justice

made her say

Ian

I

still love you

want you

to know

it’s ok

hang up

I dream of

this incredible violence

there are times

words crawl

inside

morph me

into long strings of moments

illegible

personal

flames come out

I quit

I mutiny

I jump ship

swim to those

big beautiful rocks

and paint

the color 

face in the water

the color sunset

the color

purple in the horizon lines

then return

to the island

bedroom

bed

blanket

can’t escape Ian

Ian